REVIEW: GREEN DAY - ¡UNO!

What do you do when you have nothing left to say? If you’re Green Day, the answer is to record and release three albums in quick succession. The first of these, ¡Uno!, lays worrying foundations for this fateful trilogy.

SMUG BASTARD

The most obvious problem lies within the record’s lyrics. Whether the purpose is born from genuine anger or childish humour, the album is chock-full of swearing that is about as rebellious as wearing your underwear two days in a row. Indeed, in the first few lines of opener ‘Nuclear Family’ (which is probably the best track on here), Armstrong prides himself on the fact that he’s been “drinking angel’s piss.” WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Are we to glean a positive or negative connotation from that? Such a bizarre choice of words immediately pulls you away from the album and leaves you wondering whether or not this whole enterprise is a contrived and unfunny practical joke.

Hardcore fans and the group themselves will probably be jumping up and down to tell us that ¡Uno! is a much-feared “return to form.” In a certain respect, it is. Moving away from the loftier concepts of preceding albums American Idiot and 21^st Century Breakdown (perhaps one of the most nonsensical LPs of all-time), Green Day have returned to the measured and controlled punk ‘thrash’ of their earlier years. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though; ¡Uno! fails to scale the artistic heights of albums like Dookie and Nimrod and will undoubtedly fall short of the mark commercially too.

When you’re told a record will provoke repeat listens, that’s generally A Good Thing. In this case however, you’ll be forced back to ¡Uno! time and again because of its frightening vapidity and ceaseless anonymity. ‘Kill The DJ’ is conspicuous by its utter uselessness while songs like ‘Loss Of Control’ and ‘Fell For You’ are as unappealing and forgettable as their generic, catch-all song titles imply. A world awaits in sheer horror for what will be unearthed by ¡Dos! and ¡Tre!, due for release in November and January respectively.

YOUNG AT HEART: GROHL AND AUERBACH ROCK IN THE FREE WORLD

Global Citizen Festival, taking place in New York's Central Park, was the meeting place of some of the more prolific members of rock's past and present.

Neil Young, at the end of a typically driven set, was joined on stage by Black Key's singer/guitarist Dan Auerbach and Foo Fighter Dave Grohl. What did they play? There's only one choice, surely?

RETRO REVUE: 'ENGLAND'S DREAMING' BY JON SAVAGE

What more can be said about the late-70s British punk movement? Although its legacy is evident in thousands of artists, musical or otherwise, the aesthetics, politics and music were derided by large sections of British society in its first flourishes. Taking its cue from US groups like the Ramones and the New York Dolls, who combined reckless alt-fashion with rickety-rackety music, British punk spent its inaugural two years in a leaky vessel captained (against most people’s will) by Malcolm McLaren.

To coin a clichéd-yet-pertinent turn of phrase, Savage’s book leaves no stone unturned in his visitation of a tumultuous time for all of Britain. Instead of taking the quick and easy route of blaming successive governments for the rise to prominence of many snot-nosed faux-musicians, the author instead focuses on the ego-maniacal, selfish and downright mental mores of the individuals involved.

McLaren, the unofficial broker of British punk, is regularly demonised by all and sundry as the devil behind the counter of a glorified Ann Summers outlet. His influence on the philosophy and public image of punk is, for better or worse, undeniable but Savage is keen to focus on the others who played a part in a scene that seemed doomed to failure from the beginning.

With the Sex Pistols providing the most consistent running narrative throughout, their peaks and (mainly) troughs are presented as metaphors for punk itself; multiple questionable business deals and duff songs under-pinning the wider confusion regarding what the aims and motives of the movement actually were.

NOTHING EVER CHANGES

In regards to the Sex Pistols, nobody is innocent. McLaren’s ADHD management style is one part of a toxic mix that includes John Lydon’s constant petulance and antagonism, Sid Vicious’ general existence and tragic end and complete and utter foolishness on the part of hesitant and unprepared record companies. We all know the stories; Bill Grundy, EMI, THE FILTH AND THE FURY etc. They don’t bear repeating here as Savage covers them in fine and glorious detail, even offering new information on perspectives for even the most jaded and/or knowledgeable punk fans.

Savage keeps up parallel threads that cover The Clash (and the confused, loud-mouth politics of Joe Strummer) and the various groups that followed in the wake of the Pistols. It might not be one strictly for the anoraks, but the book's considerable length and detail may scare off the very casual or new fan. If the book serves any purpose, it grants us a window into a time when Tony Parsons wasn't such a sanctimonious, whinging bastard. Oh wait, no sorry, that has always been the case.

MINIONTV SPOTIFY PLAYLIST

Liverpool's own atmospheric and instrumental bods MINIONTV have helpfully compiled a Spotfiy playlist of all of their LP and EP releases for your consideration. Not to be missed!

IN-THE-BEST CALEDONIAN WHISTLE

Despite the best efforts of both Liverpool City Council and journos looking in all the wrong places, the city's strong music scene continues their fight against all-comers. The city's Caledonia pub and music venue hosts a stonking triple bill on Saturday 6th October.

Oh, so sexual

The EVENT spoils you with Sweden's CRIMINALS, Liverpool synth-dogs SO SEXUAL and fellow local traders in raucous aural nightmares, KUSANAGI. The latter, having only been formed in October 2011, have very quickly made a name for themselves with both high-profile gigs and the talent to back it up.

For an actually insulting-to-the-bands price of £3, let this trio warm you up during a time when the weather becomes even more schizophrenic and ridiculous.

REVIEW: I AM OK - 'I AM OK' EP

Sweden is one of those nations that enjoy a quiet, unobtrusive cultural relevance. From the annals of pop history to modern literature, the country well-known on these shores for its export of flat-pack furniture always appears to be on the cusp of something big.

Johan Zeitler, former member of JENIFEREVER and THE SEARCH, returns with a solo vehicle that presses all the right buttons. I Am OK’s eponymous three-track EP is a steady and well-considered proposition for anybody with even the slightest inclination towards good music.

Opener ‘1X1’ calls to mind a mix of groups like BECK and THE CURE; thick, rumbling basslines draped over neat guitar work and topped off with smooth vocals. The EP’s other two tracks ‘Chasing Butterflies’ and ‘Hades & Heidi’ offer similar positives and provide impetus for repeat listens. The latter is replete with kaleidoscopic keyboards underpinned by metronomic drumming that keeps everything in its right place.

Don’t take our word for it though. Our allies at the EDiLS Recordings fortress have the record available for free HERE.

GREEN AT THE GILLS: BJ HITS REEJAY.

In an event engineered to placate ravenous, pun-laden headline writers, Green Day’s lead singer has publically declared himself as enrolled in a rehabilitation facility.

Silly Joe Armstrong (Yes!) has decided to stop being a Basket Case (Yes!!) and avert a 21^st Century Breakdown (Yes!!!). The move comes after a decade plus of questionable musical integrity and a recent unfortunate and very public display of rage:

Inevitably, the eternally-prefixed-as-ailing music industry has decided to cash in on this latest turn of events. Audio Apocalypse has acquired a preview tracklist of Green Day’s rush-released vice themed greatest hits package:

• When I Rum Around
• Poprocks & Coke
• (Tia) Maria
• Jesus Of Su-bourbon-a
• Hitchin’ A Line.

Don't worry though, superfans. EXPERTS predict that this latest setback won't effect his upcoming role on televisual firing-squad 'The Voice'. Who said rock n' roll is dead?

BUY! TRY! DIE! - OASIS

Britain was cool in the 60s. Suddenly everywhere around the world people were walking around in fake Carnaby Street suits and talking in the pseudo-Liverpudlian accent of John Lennon, or the estuary vowels of Mick Jagger. Then, we went on strike and everyone else became cool.

The Americans had their shiny offices and their suave former actor President. Japan had its technology and robots that did the work of entire British factories. Christ, even the Aussies had Crocodile Dundee, who could hypnotise dogs.

Then, the wheel turned again, and in the 90s it was suddenly cool to come from Britain again, largely thanks to the musical genre Britpop and one of it’s leading lights; Oasis.

           

For sheer balls-out arrogance it’s hard to touch Oasis. Their work has influenced a generation of garage bands, who saw a bunch of frankly ugly, working class kids from Manchester who didn’t give a fuck and thought, “Why not me?”

Want to join the Oasis express? Here are 2 albums to bring aboard, and one to throw from the train.

BUY – (What’s The Story) Morning Glory (1995)

Chances are you’ve got this one. Or you know someone who has. But if you don’t then you need to get a copy now. If ever an album summed up the attitude of a band, their fans, the background they came from and the moment they made it, this is it. It’s ridiculous how many genuinely great songs are on Morning Glory – Roll With It, Wonderwall, Don’t Look Back in Anger, Some Might Say, She’s Electric, Morning Glory and the glorious Champagne Supernova. Read that list again and tell me you’re not impressed. No? You’re a liar, sir.



TRY – Heathen Chemistry (2002)

Upon it’s release Heathen Chemistry received mixed reviews from both critics and Oasis fans, but give it another chance. It’s the first record to see other band members get writing credits, with “shrinking violet” lead singer Liam in particular contributing 3 tracks. The best of these is easily Songbird, which is a pleasant little ballad, which brings to mind the solo work of John Lennon. There’s also the grandiose rock anthems Little by Little and Stop Crying Your Heart Out. The problem seems to be that without Noel’s guiding hand the band seem to drift slightly. Still it’s received some unfair criticism in its time, and I’m suggesting a review of it.



DIE – Be Here Now (1997)

A case of the emperor’s new clothes with this one. It’s the album where Oasis became a parody of themselves and Britpop effectively died. Initially released to rave reviews, it’s no secret that the music press are now falling over themselves to condemn it. Noel has gone on record to say how much he hated it.. It was recorded in a whirlwind of drug and alcohol abuse when the band where at the peak of their powers, and sold fantastically well until people realised that it was not another Morning Glory and binned it. Later albums would put the nail in the bands coffin, but for sheer waste of musical talent Be Here Now takes the absolute biscuit. Think of that image of Noel meeting Tony Blair at Number 10 and shudder.

BEST OF THE REST

Upset because I haven't listed anything off Definitely Maybe? Well, hold your orses! Here's the best of the rest, to kick start your collection! Click on the links to hear the songs.

Live Forever
Slide Away
Lyla
The Importance of Being Idle
Go Let It Out

MELLO OUT? - LIVERPOOL PECKED CLEAN BY CULTURE VULTURES

In a move that ultimately shocks nobody, the braintrust at the dark heart of Liverpool City Council (LCC) have decided to punish those who derive the most pleasure from something.

Independent, not-for-profit café, bar and cultural nova MelloMello have been ordered to cough up £30,000 a year in rates as a result of having their discretionary business rates relief privileges rescinded. Citing fiscal responsibility, LCC now deny that MelloMello meet the criteria for such allowances. Failing to understand that the foundations of a flourishing economy are responsible investments, their latest scheme involves pulling the rug from underneath Liverpool’s independent creative industry.

MelloMello offers a broad range of entertainment, food and creative mulch for those willing to become involved. The best and brightest of the local creative scene are spotted on stage, on the walls and even in the toilets. Most of the beer labels are illustrated by Ralph Steadman and yes, they even cater strongly towards coeliacs.

Such circumstances promote dire consequences. MelloMello will be forced to raise its operating costs. The price of hosting gigs will jump from £50 to £250. From the use of the recording studio to yoga lessons, everybody will become priced out. Free music monthly Bido Lito! will be forced out of their office. A building that was brought back from dereliction will be pushed into condemnation once again.

The most pertinent question is “Why?” According to MelloMello Director Rob Longson, speaking to sevenstreets.com, LCC had to “find savings during the last two years of £141 million and we will need to find further savings for 2013/2014.” The last couple of years have seen the closures of Contemporary Urban Centre, National Conservation Centre and…Le Bateau.

For a city that leans upon its cultural heritage, the ruling presents a paradox. In being given the European Capital of Culture Award, the implication was that it was an injection of popularity and moolah for the future. Instead, the move is a complete reversal of the aims and promises of the project.

What can be done? Pressure must be applied to those involved. Let those who brought such a decision forward for no reason know that what they are proposing is unacceptable. You can sign the petition HERE and air your thoughts. At a grass-roots level, you can get out to MelloMello, show your support and spend some money there. If they have to shoulder these unfair costs then they must be supported as much as possible.

LCC’s big ideas are nonsense. They are almost the last bastion of stupidity. Let’s see what can be done about it. 

JE SUIS FILS UNIQUE: ONLY CHILD @ LEAF, LIVERPOOL 20/09/12

Only Child is a collaboration between ex-Trestles front man, Alan O'Hare and violinist Laura McKinlay. Their self-titled debut EP was released this week at Leaf on Bold Street. From the get-go it's a charming introduction to the band, who come across as a good old fashioned, Liverpudlian folk group. With his curly hair, and a smart looking waistcoat, O'Hare resembles a Scouse Art Garfunkel. His lyrics are closer to Bruce Springsteen however, dealing as they do with love, life and the city.

The characters in O'Hare's songs walk home from town, watch fireworks on TV with dinner on their laps and go to dances in a bid to woo girls. They're at once common, familiar and timeless. O'Hare himself comes across as a likeable frontman, even if the largely silent audience seems to unnerve him slightly. He does all of the talking, not because he's particularly gregarious but because the rest of the band are shy or hidden behind their instruments.

It's a solid evening's entertainment but it would have benefited from a smaller venue with space for a potential 'celidh' style dance-off. It's clear at one point that O'Hare wants to get things started but the crowd just can't match his energy, and the slightly staid venue means that things never really kick off in a big way.

Putting that aside, the music retains a distinctive quality. McKinlay's violin blends beautifully with O'Hare's vocals, and when the band are joined onstage by the rest of their string quartet, the sound takes on a polished and soothing quality. Like knitting in front of a fireplace, the first bite of a warm crumpet drenched in butter or throwing crisp autumn leaves into the air.

The EP has been a labor of love of O'Hare, with one song in particular the self-titled Only Child having been 7 years in the making. If nothing else, O'Hare's sheer passion, enthusiasm and commitment to the project should be admired. As already stated, he's a likeable character and Only Child are a likeable band, with a lot of great qualities that perhaps might have garnered more recognition amongst the right audience.

BUY! TRY! DIE! - THE RAMONES

Joey, Johnny, Dee Dee, Tommy (or Marky). And if you want to be pedantic, Richie and CJ. They’re names that adorn a thousand t-shirts. They are of course, The Ramones. Decked out in their leather jackets, tight Levi jeans and battered Converse sneakers they pretty much invented the quintessential rock look. They also invented punk, arguably the single most influential music of the last 30 years.

But which albums should all you budding weirdos, creeps and pinheads out there look to buy, try or avoid altogether when starting your Ramones collection?

BUY – Ramones (1976)

It almost seems too easy to pick the first album as the one you should definitely buy, but as they say the best place to start is at the beginning. The Ramones were always a better live band, the spontaneity and energy of their performances often being lost on record. This self-titled debut contains tracks that would continue to be identified with the band throughout their career. Lasting just 29 minutes and featuring Blitzkrieg Bop, Judy is a Punk and Beat on The Brat this should be first in any Ramones fans’ back catalogue. There’s also a couple of gems in there, such as 53^rd and 3^rd, a song about bassist Dee Dee Ramones experiences as a rent boy. It’s an album that sums up the late teenage, early-twenties angst that we all go through and was the perfect introduction for a band of misfits like The Ramones.

TRY – End of the Century (1980)

An album that divides both fans and band members. Depending on who you ask, it’s a cynical attempt to garner commercial success by teaming up with iconic producer Phil Spector, or a beautiful collaboration with the inventor of the classic American rock and roll sound that the band loved so much. However you want to look at it, it’s Joey’s baby. Always the most eager to please of the band, End of the Century is probably the point where the lead singer finds his voice. Johnny hated the finished product, and was unimpressed by Spector’s production style. If nothing else, it’s a tribute to Joey Ramone, arguably one of the great rock and roll front men, and deserves a listen if only for that fact.

DIE – Pleasant Dreams (1981)

The Ramones produced 14 studio albums in just under 20 years. With such a prolific work load it would be impossible for every album to be a classic. Sadly, Pleasant Dreams is just one of the occasions were the band just didn’t hit the mark. It was recorded during a period where the band had more or less stopped communicating. This lack of cohesion is pretty evident from the start. Gone are the energy and the fun of earlier albums like Leaving Home and Rocket to Russia. The band were also frustrated with the lack of airplay their music was receiving, a fact which is painfully obvious in songs like We Want the Airwaves. The bitterness did contribute to a Ramones classic however, in Joey’s The KKK Took My Baby Away, a song which was written about Johhny stealing one of Joey’s girlfriends. That apart however, Pleasant Dreams is sadly more of a whimper, than a bang.

BEST OF THE REST

Ok, I know we’ve missed out a lot here, and there are some Ramones fans who are currently bad mouthing me in online forums as we speak. There’s also a lot of jocks in Ramones t-shirts sitting in front of their computers going, ‘huh, I never knew it was, like, an actual band or n’that.’ But I digress. Here are 6 of the best for you to wrap your ears around. Click on the links to hear the track.

Pinhead

Rockaway Beach

I Wanna Be Sedated

California Sun

Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want To Fight Anymore)

 

AURAL DEVESTATION PRESENTS: THE FREDDIE AWARDS

The age-old question of whether we are alone or not in the Universe doesn’t particularly matter. The real question is, WHEN are we alone? We run parallel to a number of alternate universes; each of the same size and population, but with the most minute differences potted here, there and everywhere.

Audio Apocalypse is lucky or cursed enough to be on the cusp of one of a small number of portals to our main parallel universe. We are at the mercy of ceaseless posts, transmissions and insults from our bizarro brethren. In the interests of the Inter-Dimensional Free Press Act of 2012, we are only now allowing our readers access to reporting from the dark side of the second moon.

Our first artefact concerns the typically raucous awards season. Where bitter hacks operating on a foolish, small-minded monopoly on our side will sneer at the Mercury Awards yet allow the irony of giving them free press to fly over their heads, our friends in the Parallel revel in the giving of awards and recognition. So much so, that they encourage bands with no hope and even less allies. Our Parallel sister site, Aural Devestation, give us the lowdown on the Freddie Awards, the most eagerly awaited and strangest prize of them all:

***TRANSMISSION RECEIVED: “HERE’S THE LATEST FROM OUR SIDE, YOU TWO BIT SWEATHOGS. TELL THE JOURNOS ON YOUR END TO COME OVER SOME TIME…IF THEY CAN HANDLE IT…”***

“The nominees for the first annual Freddie Awards were announced in a disused hangar early this afternoon. Designed to offer prestige to bands so unheard of that not even the members themselves are certain of the group’s existence, the Freddie’s are a chance for the sunlight to briefly reach the jungle floor.

"It is I of the itchy colon."

The awards are to be held in Bristol Town Hall and will be hosted by ex-Another Level star Dane Bowers and professional Scot Claire Grogan. Bowers was unavailable for comment, citing irritable bowel syndrome, while Grogan offered something incomprehensible.

The nominees are a who’s who of “who’s that?” and inevitably, have received little to no fanfare in the British music press.

Despite setbacks involving an unscheduled rotating door policy line-up, Bristolians Carbonara Wolfman have defied even themselves with their best release to date, Piss Pony. With no surviving original members and a swollen cast of nine musicians, the Bristolians have, as expected, wiped the slate clean. Their inaugural show together, dubbed “Trout-gate” on account of Leslie Ash’s role in the ugly scenes, looked set to finish the project before it could begin.  

Carbonara Wolfman face immediate competition from their spin-off group, Wombat 18. Combining fascist politics with a love of environmental conservation, the Bristolians caused confusion after releasing an album also named Piss Pony on the same day as their rivals. Vocalist Orphell Heir, former cellist of Carbonara Wolfman, described his would-be contemporaries as “fuckin’ dog meat cunts.”

NOT ACTUAL ARTIST

For a man discovered singing as he urinated on a dead fox in the doorway of a Primark branch in Bristol, George Napoleon Kaiser Mandela has seen his life change rapidly in the past year. After dropping out of the Navy Seals, Mandela sought a new life in Britain but quickly resorted to living on the streets. In order to survive he busked, begged and earned pennies by performing his trademark fruit-based magic tricks. His chance discovery by a passing record company executive led to his quick rise to prominence. Described by the NME as “making Captain Beefheart sound like a stuttering triffid”, his harsh atonal blues style is grating and rather awful. The reasons for both his nomination and popularity will be revealed at the end of the Leveson Enquiry.

The dark horses of the contest are Bristolians, Soft Kettle. Their electro-drone LP Hard Water received little else but derision in the moist, derelict pages of various local fanzines. Imbued with an inordinate amount of self-confidence, Soft Kettle set about starting press-led feuds with bands well above their station. After the threat of a lawsuit was imposed upon them by the estate of Gary Moore (whose corpse, said Soft Kettle, they “would like to finger”) their grand plan collapsed and, in a surprising twist, decided to knuckle down and do some work. Now with their tails firmly between their legs, the duo are taking their art seriously. Perhaps a Freddie victory will give them the impetus and zero cash prize they so desperately need."

***********************************

This is where the transmission ends. Whether or not there are more nominees, we’ll never know. No doubt the Parallel will send us the results of their hallowed award ceremony, watch this space. Or their space. Either is good.

STUDIO 101 - DON'T STOP BELIEVIN'



There's a lot of reasons to like Family Guy. Sure, it's not as funny as the Simpsons was at it's peak nor as clever as South Park. It may be painflly reliant on fart jokes and crude jibes on race and sexuality to get cheap laughs, but ultimately the writers know ther target audience and are happy to play to their strengths.

I enjoy a reference to an American TV show from the 80s that I've never seen, as much as the next man, but there's one thing I can never forgive Seth Macfarlene and co. for. And that's inflicting Journey on the world for a second time.

Remember the time when I farted....

You probably remember the episode. Peter and his friends start a karaoke bar, and sing the Journey 'classic' Don't Stop Believeing. The internet is run by 13 year old boys, who instantly went online and downloaded the song, tittering to themselves all the way.



Things would have been ok if the horror had ended there, but it was only just beginning. Like a creeping zombie apocalypse, Journey were shuffling their way back into the charts. The writers on Glee (created by the Devil himself) saw how popular the song was and decided to make their own version. Only this time, there was no joke. This time, the song was all about 'dreams' and 'hopes.' It had become the anthem for the X-Factor generation.

Unashamedly Crap

It wouldn't be so bad if Journey had a decent back catalogue, that we could discover and fall in love with. But they haven't. That's why Family Guy picked them. That's why they picked Conway Twitty and all those crap 80s films and TV shows. Because they were so unashamedly crap, that no one would notice them being mocked. 



Journey are the perfect example of what a friend of mine calls 'cock rock'. All long hair, sequins and pyrotechnics, but no actual soul or heart. The lyrics of Don't Stop Believin' are as meaningless, empty and cynical as an episode of Family Guy. Any attempt to place a deeper, more enduring meaning to the song is a waste of time and it's as rock and roll as a contest to find the world's cutest kitten.

Which is why, it must be binned into the deepest, darkest circle of Studio 101.



For the last time, I don't *hic* have an alchohol problem...



THE REVIEW CELL

The Review Cell aims to round up as many of the music industry’s bastard offspring as it can. Here are just a few of the highlights and lowlights of this year’s recent releases.

                 

                                                                             The xx – Coexist

Frankly, The xx are an insipid proposition. Lauded by many, their uninspiring songs wheeze across the finish line and offer little in the way of excitement or even an opinion. The music of Coexist straddles an uncomfortable border between nowhere and the abyss. If you were unsure of the relevance of the Mercury Prize and journalistic hype, allow The xx offer an insight into the dark side of these two elements. It’s nothing but sad teenage poetry and its mainly one-worded titles offer as much joy and tension as the songs themselves. Phone the morgue.

In a Nutshell…

Out – Now.

Check out – They all sound the same, so pick whatever.

Try if you like – Low self-esteem, rubbish relationships.

Avoid if – You enjoy music.

Best for – Giving to somebody you really, really, really dislike.

                              Mark Lanegan – Blues Funeral

One of rock’s cockroaches (in the nicest possible way), Lanegan has seen and done it all, living to tell the tale. Blues Funeral is a stunning collection of songs from an artist of real integrity. Lanegan has managed to daub his canvas with differing shades of dark. The pulverising bass that drives opener ‘The Gravedigger’s Song’ is a beating heart that propels the blood of the track. ‘Riot In My House’ is just that; a blues rock stomper with little regard for its own health. Elsewhere, ‘Bleeding Muddy Water’ and ‘Gray Turns Black’ offer a little of the usual grim moods that Lanegan is famous for. Sure, nobody likes a moaner but when lines such as “If tears were liquor I’d drink myself sick” are presented to you, it’s difficult to deny that a little self-flagellation has its benefits.

In a Nutshell…

Out – Now.

Check out – The Gravedigger’s Song.

Try if you like – Dirty, authentic tunes by an artist with real experience.

Avoid if – You like The xx.

Best for – Stoned nights in the woods.

                         

                                                                             The Darkness – Hot Cakes

Despite critical consternation, consumer boredom and liberal doses of Columbia’s favourite unofficial headache remedy, The Darkness have now tripled their predicted life span. They might have some unfinished business, but does anybody actually give a fuck?

Combining their usual genitalia-themed comedy with an odd and uneasy “really-though-it’s-good-to-be-back” angle, Hot Cakes (Get it? Because it will sell like…oh fuck it…) is a confusing mix of the morose and the celebratory; a bunch of coked-up glam dolls gatecrashing a Mayor’s funeral. Indeed, the notion of the tarted up meeting the grey is exhibited by their take on Radiohead’s ‘Street Spirit (Fade Out)’, a cover they’ve kept on the backburner for nigh on a decade. The rest of the album is the usual mix of riffs Angus Young and Brian May crafted years ago replete with falsetto vocals and none-too-subtle innuendo. Plus, Justin Hawkins’ tattoos look ridiculous.

In a Nutshell…

Out – Now.

Check out – With A Woman.

Try if you like – Codpieces, making devil horn signs at everything ALL THE TIME.

Avoid if – You’re allergic to time travel.

Best for – Parties etc.

WHOLE OF THE MOON: MOONLIT SAILOR ANNOUNCE UK GIGS

Swedish post-rockers Moonlit Sailor have announced a trio of live dates that will take place in England towards the end of 2012. Their brand of self-assured, multi-faceted instrumental music has an impressive following across Europe and the limited number of UK shows guarantees that acquiring tickets might be a tall order.

Moonlit Sailor will play at:

Basingstoke @ The Sanctuary – 29/11

Southend @ Sun Rooms – 30/11

Liverpool @ The Pilgrim – 1/12.
Canterbury @ Bramleys - 2/12.

STUDIO 101 - PINK FLOYD

For many people, Pink Floyd are one of the greatest bands that have ever existed. With such classic albums as The Dark Side of The Moon, The Wall and Wish You Were Here, alongside hits like Comfortably Numb, Shine on You Crazy Diamond and The Great Gig in the Sky, the names Walters, Gilmour and Barrett are surely up there with the greatest of all time. Their brand of progressive, psychedelic rock has been entertaining students for over 30 years. How have they ended up in your Studio 101, I hear you cry! Are you a moron?

I realise that this is a controversial choice, but I do have a couple of reasons behind this pick. So stand back, and let me slaughter this sacred cow.

        

Come at me, bro!

Firstly, have you ever sat and listened to a Pink Floyd record? If you have then you’ve got a lot of time on your hands. None of their albums were less than 40 minutes long, and two of them (The Wall and Division Bell) are over an hour. Who wants to sit and listen to keyboard loops for over an hour? Think of everything you can do in an hour, everywhere you could go, and everyone you could see. Now imagine sitting in a room and listening to Pink Floyd. Waste of an hour, if you ask me.

           

Secondly, you can’t dance to a Pink Floyd song. Try it. You look ridiculous don’t you? They’re not designed to be danced to. They’re designed to be listened to, preferably whilst stoned and through overly sized headphones. It’s music that demands to be taken seriously, and you can’t take it seriously if you’re dancing to it. Now, I like to dance to my music. At the very least, I want to be able to jump up and down to the beat.

When you meet a Pink Floyd fan, he (it’s always a he) will be wearing a t-shirt with one of their album covers on. He’ll have grey hair, tied into a greasy ponytail. He’ll be wearing faded blue jeans, and a leather jacket that is too big.  He’ll drink real ale, have an in depth knowledge of the nation’s motorways and smoke rolled up cigarettes or a pipe. He’ll be a huge fan of Top Gear and thinks Jeremy Clarkson is, “spot on.” He’s the last person you want to sit next to on a bus, be stuck in a lift with or have as your father-in-law.

Liberal and progressive

Prog rock is not an easy genre to love. Emerging out of the end of the Sixties and coming to dominate the British music scene throughout the 70s, as already stated it was the genre of middle-class students, sitting in their bedsits eating cold beans and reading philosophy. Pink Floyd’s music, as complex as it may be, says nothing about the time it was made. The 70s in Britain was a decade of unrest, with IRA bombs, union strikes and non-European immigration. Few people actually know how close the country came to complete disorder. Yet listening to Floyd you wouldn’t even know it.

           

It was not just Pink Floyd who were big in the 70s. That great British institution, Melody Maker magazine was riding high on the wave of prog rock. The writers at Melody Maker were so delighted with the genre that they dedicated much of their magazine space to it. In fact, they were so in love with prog rock that they completely missed the punk revolution, treating bands like Sex Pistols and The Clash with disdain.

           

Now, let me be clear, I’m NOT saying the Sex Pistols are a better band than Pink Floyd. Technically, they’re miles apart. The Sex Pistols couldn’t play their way out of a paper bag, but they had something extra. A charisma, an energy and a deviance that meant that even today, over 3 decades later, putting on a Sex Pistols album gets horrified looks from parents, teachers and employers. Putting on a Pink Floyd record just sends everyone to sleep or worse, gets a mild approval.

           

To sum up then, there’s a snobbish attitude towards Pink Floyd that makes it hard for me to warm to them. When I listen to music, I want it to be fun, aggressive, sexy and with a sense of danger. Pink Floyd have none of that.

BUY! TRY! DIE! - BLUR

Ye olde English operas, cheese and politics. The boys from Blur have come a long way since they cavorted around the streets of London with Phil Daniels. Coming to mainstream prominence as a result of their forced yet memorable rivalry with Oasis, Blur were always a step ahead their northern rivals musically. Indeed, it is their overarching variety that make pigeon-holing their relatively small seven album output a more difficult task than usual.

BUY! – Modern Life Is Rubbish (Food, 1993)

Despite initial success, Blur found themselves massively in debt and on the end of a kicking from critics and rival bands. Trying to become established on a dying trend is difficult at the best of times, but it certainly wasn’t helped by constant dissention, fighting and heavy drinking within the ranks. The solution? Obvious, really. Completely revamp both your own sound and the national pop music zeitgeist.

Modern Life Is Rubbish stands as a testament to the patience, talent and foresight of Blur’s members. From the album’s opening lines (“He’s a 20^th century boy with his hands on the rails/Trying not to be sick again and holding on for tomorrow”) we can see what kind of a ride we are in for. If indeed he wasn’t singing about himself in the aforementioned lyric, then it would have been somebody of a similar ilk. Modern Life… is a collection that speaks to people of a certain demographic at a certain point in time. Trying to update the suburban, social commentary of groups like The Kinks, Blur managed to craft a memorable album with interesting topics and excellent musicianship. Heavy, sing-a-long choruses fill out tracks like Advert, Villa Rosie and Colin Zeal whilst Sunday, Sunday harks back to those lazy weekends that involve plenty of eating, a bit of dozing, the newspapers and (if you’re of age), a few cheeky pints.

The consequences of Modern Life… were myriad. As well as bringing the band back from the brink it allowed them a platform from which to explore their new ideas going into albums such as Parklife and The Great Escape.

TRY! – Blur (Food, 1997)

At times bouncy and punchy, at other points blood-splattered and depressed, Blur is a box of macabre delights. Taking their cue from the likes of Pavement, Sonic Youth and their ilk, Blur turned in something of a departure from their previous output. With guitarist Graham Coxon handed the musical reigns, Blur moved away from the samey, uninspiring Great Escape LP and into bizarre territory. Providing them with their biggest US hit to date in Song 2, the group finally set about trying to crack the country that was once every record label accountant’s wet dream.

Whether they succeeded or not in that pursuit is neither here nor there, as Blur is a satisfying mix of aural madness. With a supposed paean to the dangers of smack as the opening track (Beetlebum), the album sets out its stall early. After the brilliant blaze of Song 2 we are left to ponder the downsides of fame and fortune in songs like Country Sad Ballad Man, Look Inside America and Death of a Party. The album’s centrepiece is the touching You’re So Great; sung and played solely by Coxon over what sounds like an ancient transmitter. Culminating with the punk blast of Chinese Bombs, the swarthy tones of I’m Just A Killer For Your Love and the bleak white noise of Essex Dogs, Blur had conspired to triumph where many others dared to tread. Confusing many at time of release, Blur was the first milestone on the group’s real experimental path.

DIE! – Leisure (Food, 1991)

Ok, ok. We all have to start somewhere. Before becoming an international heart throb and esteemed member of F.A.G., George Clooney pranced around in drag as an extra in Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes. Similarly, for their first album Blur had to dress up as something they never really were. Taking their cue from the baggy fashion that permeated the country at the time (replete with slack jaws and a wide-eyed gaze), Blur’s debut LP announced itself in a haze. Its marriage of shoegaze techniques with an enigmatic aura ultimately falls short of the mark. Largely forgettable, the majority of the album’s tracks fade out in and among themselves with only two memorable moments of clarity.

‘She’s So High’ was a nice little number replete with washes of guitar and a memorable chorus. Elsewhere, There’s No Other Way instantly recalls a million Goals On Sunday highlights packages whilst managing to capture the essence of life’s minutiae that the group were so keen at expressing. Unfortunately, there’s little else of value evident but all was forgiven by the end.

Best Of The Rest

Trust me, we’re all aware that Parklife isn’t on this list. Without Modern Life… you wouldn’t have it, so for that reason their second full-length album just beats it across the line. Of course, this is why the Best Of The Rest section exists, so you can see what we couldn’t/didn’t cover. It also allows us to deviate from the beaten path a bit more than normal. Click on the titles to hear the songs.

B.L.U.R.E.M.I.

Coffee & TV

Out Of Time

Popscene

Tracy Jacks

THE REVIEW CELL

Here at AA Towers, we like to keep our review team under lock and key. It’s for your own safety really. If these creatures ever got out then the damage they could do to people’s self-esteem could be truly devastating. They remain in a barren cell and the guards who attend to them wear earplugs, so that they can’t hear the things they say to them. These vicious creatures have snake like tongues, and the consequences of their words can be quite disastrous. One guard forgot to wear his earplugs one day, and they managed to convince him that he was a political genius. He’s now the Mayor of London. You can understand then, why we don’t let them out.

They are good for something however. Passing judgement over the latest album releases, to help you make informed decisions on what music you need to be listening to this month to impress your friends and loved ones, or just to hold a conversation on the bus.

Band Of Horses – Mirage Rock

Americans tend to do alt-rock quite well, and this album is no exception. It’s a nicely balanced country rock album that fans of the band will love, but should also prove popular with fans of similar American indie groups like Fleet Foxes. Having Band of Horses on your I-Pod will also impress that hipster chick in your office. The one who makes your job worthwhile, but who you think has a boyfriend so are reluctant to try anything on. Opening track, Knock Knock has been around a while so get on Youtube and check it out whilst you wait for the album to come through the post.

In a Nutshell…

Out – September 17th

Download – Dumpster World

Try if you like – Fleet Foxes, Neil Young, alt-country

Avoid if – You like driving around with your windows open and scaring pedestrians

Best for – Impressing hipsters on Bold Street

Aiden Grimshaw - Misty Eye

Grimshaw was one of the contestants on 2010’s X-Factor. His unique style was not suited to the show and he was quickly booted off after one too many ‘deep’ versions of songs like Thriller. His debut album is an obvious attempt to shake off the X-Factor tag and create an identity of his own. Grimshaw does make a decent stab at being mean and moody with songs like Be Myself and Poacher’s Island, but there’s too much polish to make it work. See the dreadful rap on third track, What We Gonna Be, which leaves Grimshaw as a backing singer on his own album.

In a Nutshell…

Out – Now

Download – Poacher’s Timing

Try if you like – Massive Attack, Damien Rice

Avoid if – You’re having an X-Factor party

Best for – A Christmas present for Nan. She’ll never listen to it though.

Judas Priest - Screaming for Vengeance (30^th Anniversary Release)

The Priest are one of Otto from The Simpsons’ favourite bands, and if like the slacker bus driver you like to get ‘blotto’ this is definitely the album for you. One of Britain’s most popular metal bands, Judas Priest are responsible for taking the rhythm and blues influences out of metal and creating the stadium filling heavy metal sound that was all the rage in the 80s and has become the main staple of the genre. Originally released in 1982, this 30^th Anniversary Edition features several live tracks, and is considered one of heavy metal’s greatest ever albums.

In a Nutshell…

Out – September 10^th

Track to Download – You’ve Got Another Thing Coming

Try if you like – Slayer, Motorhead, Iron Maiden

Avoid if – You fancy a nice quiet night in

Best for – Impressing your metal-head mates on K1 at the Krazy House

NEW BEGINNINGS

Music journalism is ultimately driven by an agenda. When writing about music, journalists tend to lean towards positivity for the things they enjoy and err on the side of negativity for the things they do not.

A very modern music journalist

Is this fair? No, but it’s human nature; we protect our allies and cast out our enemies. The problem is when everything becomes dull, grey and carbon copied. A lot of what passes for music journalism can be described in this way. That’s fine and dandy if you’re in a band and crave little else but good copy but for the discerning fan it leaves a lot to be desired. There’s a reason they call it critical analysis and furthermore there’s a reason it is deployed. The readers, fans and consumers (at least the ones worth the time) want both sides of the coin.

So what do we have currently? Websites, publications and individuals either too scared or too stupid to make their opinions known. Vested interests tie up nearly every avenue of the country’s music coverage. Thought, feeling and opinion have to be masked to appease sponsors, allies and people’s necks. It might the only train destined for Filthy Lucre Town (no matter how slowly) but there are always alternative modes of transport.

Audio Apocalypse has friends. Of course it does. We also have favoured groups, institutions and people. But here’s the difference; whether it be on a local, national or international level, we promise to provide unbiased, interesting and sometimes even humourous reporting.

The fact that it needs somebody to state those aims so clearly is the biggest problem of all.