REVIEW CELL

This week, the Review Cell takes in it's most ambitious project yet. Listening to a Girls Aloud song. All the way through....

Girls Aloud – Something New

First up, it’s the latest single from Britain’s favourite coven Girls Aloud. Yes, Cheryl, the ginger one, the brassy Northerner, the one who’s been to rehab and the Irish one are back, and they’re ready to take over the charts once again before no doubt bowing out for another year or so with a much hyped greatest hits collection and stadium tour. Without a shadow of a doubt this single will be an instant hit, with it’s moronic hook, robotic vocals and ‘jump around and shake yo’ ass’ lyrics. It can easily be dismissed as your average, run of the mill, pop record. There's no point even getting annoyed that I've reviewed it. Let’s waste no more time, and move on.

In a Nutshell

Released – 18^th November

Try If– You're having a good bitch with the girls, over a bottle of Lambrini!

Avoid If– You like reading French novels like The Age of Reason by Jean-Paul Sartre.

Best For – Working out at Zumba class, as you try to slim down to a size 12 for that New Year’s Eve outfit.

Misha B – Do You Think Of Me

You might remember Misha from series XIIIVIIIXX of the X Factor. One of the stronger singers, she proved that the British public are spectacularly dumb, musically tone deaf or a combination of both when she was unceremoniously voted off the popular music based reality TV show. This is her second single, following on from the modestly successful Home Run. It’s yet another club banger, with nursery rhyme lyrics that everyone will be waving their hands in the air along with this winter. Misha, or Miss B if we’re being polite, has enough of the soul diva to make her music sound perhaps more interesting than it is. Sung by anyone else, this would be a pretty dire record.

In a Nutshell

Released – Out Now

Try If  – You like the idea of an Adele song with a dance track being played underneath it.

Avoid If – The above description makes you want to rip out your skull.

Best For – Nodding your head to in Revolution because you ‘want to fit in’ on the work’s Christmas night out.

Swim Deep – Honey

The last of this week’s reviews, and this one actually has some instruments on it. Well, I think I hear some drums tucked away back there. Swim Deep have been on tour with Spector recently, joining them for their O2 Academy gig back in October. They’ve got their own headline tour coming up, and they’re playing the Kazimier on 23^rd Feb. It’s bound to be full of brightly dressed hipsters, with great hair and vintage clothes. Anyway, back to the song. A nice, easy going tune which ticks all the boxes in terms of an indie record. It’s the single of the week, if only because it isn’t by Girls Aloud.

In a Nutshell

Released – Out Now on Vinyl and Digital Download

Try If You Like – The Stone Roses, Wavves

Avoid If – You like your music to have ‘a message’.

Best For – Trying to talk to a Sixth Former. In a non-Jimmy Saville type of way.