GREEN DAY OF THE DEAD: LYRICAL ATROCITIES FROM THE ORIGINAL AMERICAN IDIOTS

Having already released an album called Dookie and flicked their wrists to a popular song about wanking, perhaps we shouldn’t expect too much from Green Day in the way of high-brow intellectualism. In fact, we probably have them to thank for the advent of infantile shitehawks like Blink-182. But lately, things have got worse. Much worse.

"Did I just say that?"

With two thirds of the group’s futile Uno/Dos/Tre now available for public execution, the wolves, knives, claws and all manner of sharp and hairy things have come out. The problem of the retread of a tired formula that constitutes the music of Uno and Dos is a distant second to the most blatant error; the atrocious lyrics. Not-so-fresh off the back of their ghastly political meanderings of the past few years, the balding trio have cut the brakes on the car named Sanity. Speaking of cars, ol’ BJA is fan himself: “I like your BMW. I like your BM-excellent tits with a tattoo of a pig sniffing glue.”

Err…you what, mate? Armstrong spends the remainder of the two records taking us through the social and emotional mangle; religion (“she gave up on Jesus for living on Venus”), incontinence (“at first I thought I’d pissed the bed”), agriculture (“serve your shit to the pigs”) and door-frame eroticism (“you’re sucking on a door knob that I slammed in your face”). There’s a sense of malevolence at times that can be a bit disconcerting. Elsewhere he appears to take on the role of some sort of sex pest, declaring that he wants to “choke you until you’re blue in the face” on the unfortunately titled “Fuck Time.” On “Makeout Party”, Green Day (combined age: 119) ask whether or not you want to play “spin-the-bottle” with them.

Not long after the albums were recorded, Armstrong began the drying-out process. So that solves that mystery anyway. In an interview that was never actually conducted, he revealed that not only was he barred from wearing brothel creepers in the rehab facility but that the next album will just be lists of things he has looked at or thought about recently.